The Five Marys Story
Part 1 – From the Beginning
Brian grew up in California agriculture as the oldest of five children. His dad, Tom, was a farmer and raised row crops in Imperial County in Southern California, and then trees in Tehama County in Northern California. His mom, Claire, (aka Oma!) was a teacher and busy working mom of five. They met at UCLA and Brian’s paternal Grandma Borchard has strong farming roots in Orange County – there’s even a freeway named after them! He grew up around hard work and a rural lifestyle in farming with his siblings.
Brian raised animals every year for 4H projects, played football, and helped his dad with farming operations. He wanted to follow in his footsteps and continue farming, but there was no place for him to step into a family operation and his dad told him it was a hard way to make a living – to go start somewhere else first and establish himself – then come back if he found his way back to it (sage advice, Tom!), so Brian went to law school.
I grew up the oldest of four children in Menlo Park (San Francisco Bay Area) – also a native and 6th generation Californian – in the same town where I met Brian and we started our family! My mom’s family had roots as farmers in Watsonville, California and my dad grew up moving all over every few years as my grandpa was an engineer.
My dad, John, is an attorney and my mom was flight attendant for American Airlines. They met on a blind date and knew right away that they’d get married. My dad is still working at 73 as an attorney – mostly defending doctors in medical cases and has always modeled hard work and a strong work ethic. My mom, Janet, (aka Jannie!) was at home imparting in the four of us her strong family traditions and values and infusing a lot of fun and energy into our upbringing.. and lucky for us, still doing this for her grown children and grandchildren!) I think her ‘let’s do it!’ attitude helped me learn to jump into things I wanted to do and make it happen.
I was always drawn to the western lifestyle, riding horses, and loving country music, but I never expected I’d be a rancher or living in a mountain town of 689 people – I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else!
Part 2 – Brian’s Story
Brian is the oldest of five in his family and in most photos from his childhood he has a baby in his arms. He was 7 when his twin siblings were born and has always been a caretaker.
He moved to Red Bluff when he was 16 years old and thought his parents were ruining his life moving from Imperial Co, but he met lifelong friends and he and his family found a strong community in Red Bluff, where his mom still lives. Brian’s dad was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s disease when he was just 46. They believe his Parkinson’s was due to his work as a chemist with the US Army at the Rocky Mountain Arsenal in Colorado during Vietnam – and possibly from farming in the early days of pesticides.
Brian went to UC Davis for college and majored in Environmental Toxicology. After graduation, he worked in environmental consulting, specializing in law enforcement and synthetic drugs. After a few years he decided to pursue a law degree and went to Santa Clara University Law School. He graduated and accepted a job at a big firm in the Bay Area doing real estate law. He still found time to get outside and go on hunting and fishing adventures from Colorado to Montana to Alaska. He spent a lot of time with his friends and their babies.
He was the only guy in the law firm parking lot to drive a diesel pick-up truck. He had a yellow lab named Sage who was the worst behaved dog ever, but kept him good company in the front seat of his truck or his drift boat on his many adventures.
Brian bought an old dilapidated house in the Bay Area the year before I met him. It was so bad that the realtor sat in a lawn chair on the sidewalk (the previous tenant had allowed raccoons and feral cats to take over inside) but he was determined to get a deal on Bay Area housing prices and find something he could afford to fix up himself. He did a great job on all of it, changing out of his suit and tie after long days at the office to rebuild the house.
I met him after he’d done most of the hard work and the day we got back from our honeymoon, we demo’ed the kitchen – I knew I’d married the right guy 🙂
Part 3 – Mary’s Story
I’m the oldest in the family with two younger brothers, James and Jerry, and a baby sister 8 years younger who was my dream come true baby doll, and is now my best friend – although we still call her Baby Ann!
My mom has always loved and appreciated old things and great style. When I was about 9, she found a dilapidated old 1911 farmhouse up on blocks ready for demolition. She convinced my dad to buy and move the house and restore it. We worked on the house every weekend for years and learned a lot along the way helping to fix it.
I went to Sacred Heart Prep for high school after 9 years of Catholic elementary school. I spent every free hour I had vaulting (a team sport combining gymnastics and horseback), volunteering or starting my own backyard businesses.
I went to the College of William & Mary and majored in Biological Psychology with hopes of going to medical school to be a Pediatric Oncologist. I volunteered extensively with the Ronald McDonald House at Stanford and Packard Children’s Hospital. I loved everything about the. medical field and working with kids.
I also bought a little house in Williamsburg while I was in college, with the help of my parents, and fixed it up and rented it out to six roommates to cover expenses. I didn’t realize it then, but I loved entrepreneurial endeavors anywhere I could find them.
After college I moved back to the Bay Area to study for the MCAT and started tutoring local students. I leased a storefront in my downtown at 22 years old, with a wing-and-a-prayer hope that I could build a business to help pay my way through medical school if and when I was admitted.
I realized that I loved small business and wanted to continue fueling my passion as an entrepreneur in starting new businesses instead of diving into medical school. I found a way to continue my love of unusual equestrian sports by learning to play polo – trading barn work for lessons and traveled all over playing competitively after a few years… that photo of me is at a tournament in Argentina!
I was working on opening my third business when I met a tall, dark, and handsome guy at a playhouse auction…
Part 4 – Our Love Story
On June 4th, 2005, I walked into a playhouse auction fundraiser at Stanford shopping center on a Saturday night to volunteer bartend and I walked out knowing I’d met my husband.
I was 27 years old and Brian was 33. We were both single at the time and I got a random email at the last minute asking for volunteers to help at the event, ironically called ‘Dreams Happen.’ I had my tutoring business at the time and figured it would be a good event to meet new parents looking for tutoring.
Brian was on the board or the organization that the event benefitted, Rebuilding Together, (fixing your homes for those who couldn’t afford to keep their homes safe and warm) and he was supposed to bring a date to the event but he canceled at the last minute and decided he’d rather just go alone.. phew!
I was wearing a baggy volunteer shirt and starting to question what I was doing at a playhouse auction on a Saturday night when the crowd parted and I saw this tall handsome guy talking to some people I knew.
We started talking as a group and everyone else slowly walked away, leaving us talking alone. I think we were the only single ones there and I was so happy there was no ring on his hand.
I asked a few other people who we knew in common, ‘Who is this Brian Heffernan guy?’ and one friend said, ‘Oh, he’s cute – I think he works a lot.’ She pulled me over to him to drag him out on the dance floor. He actually danced with me – and he hates dancing!
I knew that night that I would marry him.
Our first official date was at a steakhouse a few nights laster and we closed the place down talking at the table for hours and couldn’t believe how much we had in common. Then we made dinner together and met each other’s awfully behaved dogs (I had a Jack Russell) and found out we both drove trucks. He had been hiding his pick-up until he saw my lifted Tahoe and realized I was not a normal Bay Area girl either!
We were pretty much inseparable after that first date, got engaged in six months, and married seven months later. Brian proposed on a rainy January day up at a friend’s ranch in Red Bluff – we were on a hike and both wearing full camo. He had planned a surprise engagement party at his parent’s house upon our return and I couldn’t figure out why he kept asking me if I wanted to change into nicer clothes! His sisters were impressed he had that much confidence I’d say yes – with 50+ of our family traveling there to celebrate!
Our wedding was July 22, 2006 at high noon – on the hottest day on record in Menlo Park, CA (106 degrees!). We were married in the church I grew up in, as were all of my siblings. We were all very thankful for the AC in the church that we’d ironically helped fundraise for the year earlier.
We had a big party at my parents’ house afterwards with 450+ friends and family (sweating and dancing and jumping the fence into the neighbors’ pool!) and no one drank any of the nice red wine my dad bought, but the caterer went back to the liquor store four times for more ice and Bud Lights.
The cake toppled over in the heat and our photographer accidentally deleted most of the photos and it was just SO HOT… but the porta-potty trailer was gloriously air conditioned and the food was delicious and the bar was always stocked with cold champagne and we had so much fun! I loved my dress and my flowers and none of the other stuff seemed to matter that day. My parents sure know how to throw a party!
Everybody remembers the heat that day, and we’ll always remember everyone who was there to celebrate with us and kick off this crazy adventure of life together. We couldn’t wait to get started! We honeymooned road-tripping in Montana and Wyoming.. fly fishing and staying at little lodges before ending up at both our family reunions, then home to our favorite little house where we’d start our family.
Part 5 – Are They Really All Named Mary?!
They sure are! We didn’t really plan it that way, but there is a long history of strong Catholic women named Mary on both sides of the family, and Brian and I wanted to carry on the tradition with our first daughter. We honestly never thought about the fact that we might have all girls, but once we started, there was no going back!
We didn’t know what we were having when I was pregnant and I was sure it was a boy (but so thrilled when she was a girl!) and we named her Mary Frances Borchard after Brian’s grandmother who had just passed away. Her name was Bernice Borchard (and apparently did not like her first name!) but had a sister named Frances, and my great grandfather was also named Francis. We loved the name and decided to call her Francie, honoring strong family members on both sides of our families – and Francie is just that.
Then Maisie came along – another surprise girl! We named her Mary Marjorie Sheehy, after my Grandmother Mary Sheehy, who died before we were married, and her sister, our favorite Great Aunt Marjorie Sheehy. Aunt Marge cries every time she sees Maisie, saying how much she looks just like her late sister, my mom’s mother who was such a great lady! Maisie is lucky to have inherited the Sheehy girls pretty, petite looks and sweet, loving personality too.
We kind of figured we’d have a boy next by the odds of it – but, nope! Along came another girl! Good thing we still had lots of Marys in the family to pick from. Janie is named after my dad’s mom, Mary Jane Simonson, but we gave Janie my middle name so she’s Mary Jane Regan. I never met my dad’s mom – she died young – but I know she had a strong and sassy personality just like her namesake.
The fourth baby had to be the boy, right? Tessa surprised us again, rounding out our gaggle of girls! She is named Mary Teresa Katherine, after my Aunt Teresa, Aunt Kathy (my godmother) who died and is greatly missed, and Great Aunt Kate who died when I was pregnant with Tess. She was affectionately called ‘Tiny’ as a toddler, which suited her small frame and huge personality. She stopped letting us call her that, but still has a giant, spunky personality!
Part 6 – The Big Move
It was just 7.5 years ago that we packed up a busy suburban life and moved to Fort Jones to become cattle ranchers. It wasn’t anything we ever expected, but this life and our ranch kind of found us.
The girls went from play dates and pool parties and walking to preschool in our Bay Area town, to walking gravel roads barefoot, feeding bottle calves, and caring for sick lambs by the fire at night. I had to adjust to far fewer amenities – like no more easy shopping or restaurant options, no dishwasher, or the comfortable things I’d gotten used to in our home – and to cutting wood for heat!
Brian was exactly where he’d always hoped to be. Working hard outside farming like his dad and raising livestock the right way like we’d set out to do when we made the decision to change the path for our family.
A lot has changed in those years as you can see from these photos… Heff grew a beard and we both have a few more grey hairs and wrinkles when we smile, the girls grew out of those baby looks, and we traded those Patagonia vests for worn-in, rugged Carhartt. We’ve worked hard everyday to build a business (and now, businesses!) that we are darn proud of as first generation ranchers, thanks in many ways to you and this little app called Instagram that lets us share our story along the way.
We don’t plan on changing much over the next 7.5 years, except to continue to grow our big dreams in our family ranching operation together with these little faces that are growing into beautiful young women these days!
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